From the dust, Returned.

After some time it begins to become unreal to you. The things you saw, the things you did, the people you met. And the people that died. You begin to wonder if it was ever real. Years can go by, and you can pretend that it never happened, but it never gets any easier.

Chuck Palahniuk posed the idea that self destruction was a viable alternative to living a life of quiet desperation. Maybe there is some truth to that, maybe some great disconnect is apparent between what we have always wanted not to be and what we inevitably are becoming: but what that is I don't have eyes to see.

The Baby Boomers took the reins of the empire their parents built, and they expanded it to the detriment of future generations. They built and used and burned out their legacy, and we will inherit the ashes. If we should live so long. Everything you've been told is a lie. This is the only life you will ever have, and the time we waste is the stuff that it is made of. We are only time, and we haven't much of it.

Finals Week

Is finally upon us. I can't wait for this semester to be done. Apparently I'm a senior at State. I think this will be a multi-year condition, unfortunately. At least I know it's almost done, thank the Hanukkah Zombie.

I gave a 30 minute talk yesterday about the history of the Arab-Israeli conflict. This was moderately interesting and effective, and my professor "enjoyed it very much" and thanked me for it twice. Extra credit? One can only hope.

Officially on a fiction hiatus until this semester is over. Barring lightning strikes, of course.

The path is Clarion

So registration for Clarion started on the first. The page is a bit weird to navigate, and the formatting has to be in PDF or .Doc, but otherwise the process went relatively painlessly.

Al Dente

So. Let's just say that after Peter Pan left Neverland he started spending more time in the regular world. During this time there was no one left to defend Neverland. The pirates and the lost boys fall into chaos without a strong leadership and they begin skirmishing. Then the Others arrive.

And the arms dealer, who pits faction against faction selling modern weapons of destruction in exchange for dreams and memories.

Tinkerbell has lost faith that Pan will return, and a new cult of Pirates and the Lost Boys led by Mr. Smee await the return of Captain Hook, the only man who can return a semblance of order to a tribe of the Lost and a new crew of bloodthirsty pirates led by Israel Hands.

Let's just say it's the end of the world, and this time the villain is the only one who can save The Neverland.

Wacky world of Fractals

Last night I medicated and decided to watch something educational on the internets. Being a science fiction fan I was looking for a documentary on a favorite author, in this case Arthur C. Clarke, when I happened upon a documentary about Fractal Geometry that he'd hosted in the early nineties.

I think that were I not medicated I wouldn't have been as into it as I was, but nonetheless its an interesting subject. Emphasis is placed on the M-Set, which is a formula that produces infinitely complex patterns. An interesting idea, that there is some way to very abstrusely model infinity with computers. I'm not a math guy, so I will take Clarke's word for it.

Sgt. Pepper

Started working on some existentialist rant about the self as it relates to language and decided to include it into the novel rough draft. That is continuing to evolve at a very slow pace, but that's fine. If this is going to be something I pour everything into I can afford to wait until it's right.

It's the night before thanksgiving. I've got two pigeons marinating in apple juice concentrate and cinnamon, cranberries ready to get made into a pie and a sauce, I went ahead and baked some yams that will go into a sweet potato casserole, and then there's the stuffing. All in all not a bad little feast if all goes according to plan. First Thanksgiving I've ever prepared, let's hope it works.

Unacceptable

The delay between last post and this one. Though granted my current readership extends to one person I knew in college.

Neurotransmitters seem to have normalized to some extent, and this is good enough for now. Depression is a relatively insidious monster that creeps up on you in small increments and in the passage of normal day to day it is very difficult to tell that you are slowly being swallowed by it. At least in my recent experience.

And I'm off for a week. Now it's time to get some writing done... or play a lot of Tetris .